Last updated Oct 8, 2024

Dealing with Hygiene when you are disabled or otherwise struggling

This is based on a post I originally made on cohost, which can be found here. This post will be formatted a little better and have some additional resources.

Preface: I am not able to cover every single disability/accommodation in this post. I know some things, but not everything! A lot of this is based on my own experiences and disabilities, so what I can/cannot do might be different from you. That is okay! I make posts like these to help normalize different ways of approaching hygiene.

Also there will be no shaming of single use items here. Yes, we should try to conserve when we can, but disabled folks should not be shamed for using what is accessible to them! If the only way you are going to brush your teeth today is with a disposable toothbrush, then use that disposable tooth brush!

If you have a tip that you don’t see here that you think should be, drop me an email: squdcrusher[at]protonmail[dot]me. Also be sure to let me know if you would like to be credited/how to credit you!

I have struggled with personal hygiene for my whole life. The main reason I struggled is I tried to base my routine after what I saw everyone else doing, people who are able bodied and neurotypical. Standing under hot running water and washing my body from head to toe every 1-2 days is difficult for me, both energy and sensory wise. Since learning to be more flexible with my hygiene, it is actually way better than it ever has been! I am able to do some hygiene activities most days, instead of putting it aside for days at a time because I didn’t have the energy to "do it right".

If you are looking more for learning the various steps of building a self care routine, with neurodivergency still in mind, check out this blog post from Shel.

If you are someone who needs help with learning to care for fats and folds, I aso have an awesome post on that here.

Body
Hair
Dental
Making a toiletry bag

Body

I had a bit of plumbing issues in my household last year, which meant I was not able to take regular showers in between repairs unless I went to the gym (which I really didn’t like doing). This forced me to be a little more creative with my hygiene, but also showed me that I actually find regular showering to be a bit of a sensory hell.
Get yourself the shower chair! If you can afford it, and you think it will help you, even just a tiny bit, get the damn chair. Even on days I don’t necessarily need it, I still enjoy sitting in my shower chair. I also sometimes stand and prop my leg onto the chair when washing my legs so I don’t have to bend over as much. Make sure you buy a stool from a reputable brand and check the weight limits.
Wash what you can, even if it isn’t your whole body. If you could only wash your face today, good job! You did it!
Similarly, if you are in a rush, wiping yourself down with some hot water and a towel is still something! I often do this when I get back in the house from gardening to get the sweat and dirt off, but may not have the energy or time for a full wash.
You can give yourself a sponge bath. This is actually how I do most of my bathing these days. Without having to be in the sensory hell box of a shower, I feel like I can actually take the time to make sure I am washing all the parts I want to wash. Usually in a shower I am rushing to get out of there as soon as possible and may miss washing a spot I meant to wash. I also have less problems with dry skin and eczema since I have started washing this way. I followed this guide to get an idea of how to set it up.
There are all types of disposable body wipes out there. I usually use these ones (not affiliated amazon link). As of the time of me writing this, it is ~$20 for 200 wipes. I have also been finding Yardly body wipes and Arm and Hammer deodorizing wipes at the dollar tree lately. Wipes are good for travel, but they can also be for everyday use. I use them to refresh between sponge baths
Another option is foaming/no rinse baths. I personally don’t care for these a whole ton. I find the smell to be very strong and they are a bit pricey compared to wipes.
Baby wipes can also be used as body wipes. We always keep some in the car for sticky fingers and small clean ups. They are a bit smaller so they can be a pain to do a full wash with, but it can be done in a pinch.
After I am dry I like to put body powder on areas that tend to rub/chafe a lot, especially during the summer.
Foot baths are both relaxing and a good way to wash up! I soak my feet for a bit and then take a washcloth to give a quick wash of my legs too.

Hair

There are liquid no rinse shampoos out there. These do not work well for me, but my mom has short/thin hair and it works well for her. You saturate your hair completely with the products, scrub it in, and then towel dry.
Similarly, you can use dry shampoo. I usually see them as sprays, but there is also powder out there. These also don’t seem to work with my hair type. Maybe I use them wrong, but my hair comes out greasier looking than it did before!
Instead, I usually wash my hair in the sink. Some people find this to be a bit of a strain on their neck/shoulders. I find it easier to stand a bit back from the sink and bend forward at the hips/low back, rather than trying to force my upper back to do the bending. It might be different for you. Depending on the height of your sink, and if you have a helpful person, you may also be able to sit in a chair with your hair in the sink similar to what they do at the hair salon.
You can take care of most of the grease/oil in your hair by washing just the top portion of it. This video shows a way to quickly wash the greasy bits of your hair in ~5 minutes. This is especially helpful if you have bangs or fringe as those tend to get greasy first.
If it is hard to brush your hair every day, get yourself a good detangling spray. I have very long, thick hair, and it can become an absolute mess when life gets in the way. When it gets bad, I put on some good tunes or an audiobook, get in a comfy chair, saturate the knots thoroughly, and start brushing. Sometimes it can be helpful to have a few different brushes/combs of different styles to work out the knots.
Try to prevent knots in the first place by using protective hairstyles, especially when sleeping. Silk bonnets and pillow cases are also an option.

Dental

Teeth brushing is a common struggle and you are not alone. I have struggled with my dental health all my life, partly due to not having access to affordable care. It is more common than I think people are willing to talk about. Please do not feel ashamed.
If you want to listen to a dentist talk about this sort of thing listen to this Struggle Care podcast. Listening to this podcast was super affirming to me. She talks about different ways to approach brushing your teeth. She also talks about some of the struggles with finding a good dentist and gives some advice. There is a transcript available for the podcast at the bottom of the page if you would rather read it instead.
Similarly to washing your body, something is better than nothing. If all you do is brush your teeth with just the toothbrush, that is still something! The recommendation is to brush your teeth twice a day. Brushing once a day is better than zero times a day.

You also don’t have to brush your teeth first thing in the morning and last thing before bed if that doesn’t work for you. If you didn’t have the spoons to make it out of bed until the afternoon, then brush them then.

Disposable toothbrushes and flossers are a great option to keep on your nightstand.
Rinse your mouth with plain water or chew gum after meals. I was honest with my dentist that I like to have sweets and sweet drinks. She didn’t tell me I had to stop, but instead suggested trying to have them with meals (instead of sipping soda all day), and to rinse my mouth afterwards. Chewing gum helps your mouth produce saliva, which keeps bad bacteria at bay. The recommendation is to chew for 20 minutes, but I find that kinda hard to do without jaw pain. Instead I just chew for a few minutes and don’t do it with every meal.
Use kids toothpaste if you hate the taste of mint. It can be hard to find non mint toothpastes that still have fluoride in it that are for “adults”, but kids toothpaste comes in fun flavors like bubblegum and strawberry and still have fluoride in them
Similarly, some people hate the foam from toothpaste. I was on a prescription toothpaste for a while that did not foam. At first it felt weird, but when I went back to regular toothpaste I actually realized I don’t think I like the sensory feel of foaming toothpaste.
If you find brushing boring or tend to get distracted, consider watching a brushing video. You can find tons of them on youtube. I tend to like the ones that guide you on what area to brush.
I personally don’t use electric toothbrushes, but some people find them helpful! They usually have timers in them to let you know when you change the section you're brushing.
Try to get a dental cleaning twice a year. I know dental care is expensive and dental insurance can be hard to come by. If you don’t have dental insurance, there are still options out there to get cleanings. Dental colleges often do free/reduced cost cleanings. You can also sometimes find traveling dental buses that offer basic care at reduced rates. When I was in college we would have a dental bus that would visit every few months that did free cleanings if you had insurance (regardless if it was dental insurance or not) or $30 if you didn’t. You may have something similar in your area.

Making a toiletry bag

Some days, no matter what, I am not getting out of bed, or at least not far from it. On those types of days, I may choose to skip most or all of my usual hygiene routine. For days like that, keeping a small toiletry bag by my bed that has the basics in it can be helpful. You can use whatever sort of bag you have on hand. A toiletry specific bag might be helpful since it has different compartments and zippers for sorting, though. Here are a few things I would recommend keeping in the bag. You may not need all of them, you may need more than this. Feel free to customize to your needs.

A compact/travel brus
Small mirror
Dry shampoo
Facial wipes
Body wipes (can take from a bigger pack and put in a resealable baggie)
Sanitizing/anti bacterial wipes
Deodorant
Cotton swabs/cotton balls
Small washcloth (I crochet mini scrubbers, you could also cut an old wash cloth in half)
Small bottle of lotion or a lotion bar in a tin
Body powder or anti chafing stick
Disposable toothbrushes and flossers
Gum and/or mouth wash
Perfume or body spray
Nail clippers/file
If you need to shave, you could get a travel trimmer. Personally I find this messy to do in bed and just let it wait until I am ready to be out of bed for a bit

You could find most of the items I recommend here at the dollar stores. You can usually find travel size bottles of product that you can refill with your own stuff, or buy a pack of empty bottles.

And that about wraps it up! I hope that you found this post helpful!